My Grandmother Kat
When I was born only one of my grandparents was living, my father’s mother. Katharine Strong (1905-1986) – called Kat by her family – was my “Gum”. Realistically, I hardly knew the woman, and now, as a grandmother myself, I wish I could ask her about her life. While my family would visit with her, it was not frequent and, being near the youngest of a large gaggle of children, I did not engage with her much.
My parents would take all 7 of us kids to Florida every other year. There are videos of us, all dressed up in our fancy clothes, being escorted to the airplane by my grandparents (we considered her 3rd husband our grandfather). Dresses, hats and the whole shebang. In addition, they would visit our home once a year or so. I do remember the childhood Easter Egg hunts in her yard on the inland waterway on Siesta Key. Her husband, my “Pop-pop”, would hand out prizes for all the egg hunters, and his charming “categories” became a tradition I carried on with my children. When we visited Florida, we stayed in a rented beach home or motel, though I believe my older sisters would stay with Gum or with an aunt nearby.
Being the 6th of 7 children made me a bit of extraneous energy, and I recall my father would propose “the quiet game” whenever family visited. The idea being the younger kids – me included – would lie quietly on the floor. Whoever lasted the longest would win a quarter. I think it likely I never won, but can’t swear by it. In any case, my interactions with Gum were not particularly memorable, and I have no close anecdotes to share.
Looking back, I would say I did not get the warm and fuzzy vibe from Gum, partly due, I suspect, to my being a rambunctious child, with many siblings vying for her attention. And, realistically, she was more the stoic, New England, Presbyterian type – raised in a very high socio-economic class in the New York City area. While her life was one of upper class, her tragic childhood likely had a significant impact on her.
Her mother suffered postpartum depression, and stayed at Glen Hall Hotel and Sanatorium while Kat was an infant. Upon returning to the family, she used her husband’s revolver (for his work with J.P. Morgan ferrying money on the streets of New York City) to commit suicide. Tragically Kat and her siblings were at home at the time. Soon after this her older brother came down with whooping cough, infecting a little sister Peggy. Kat was sent to a hospital (though possibly more like a sanatorium than what we think of as a medical hospital) to avoid infection. She was away for an entire year, and Peggy died during that time. Eventually Kat returned to her home with her father and two brothers.
Kat’s father remarried when Kat was 4. Two girls were born to the couple, but the stepmother (Katharine Converse) did not remain, leaving Ben Strong for California with her two daughters in tow when Kat was 12. In addition, there is a family story that Kat’s nanny got pregnant (though I do not know if this was before, during or after her stepmother was around) by the butler (of course). The nanny was fired, but not the butler. Kat told the story to my Mom, who in turn told me, making sure I understood how bitter Kat (or Gum as I called her) felt about the loss of the woman who cared for her.
What does this have to do with the charming carved clay sculpture I found at a thrift shop for $1.99? This little lady made me think of grandmothers, both my own and my being one. Really, it made me sad to realize I didn’t know my grandmother, nor recall her with the kind of charm this little lady possesses. The figurine has an apron embellished with a “K” so I named her Kat.
Kat – the clay one – was made by “VH” on 4-18-1972, according to the back. It is possible she was a school art project, but I cannot help but think VH made it as a gift for grandmother “K”, depicting an actual woman. She has very specific details. Her tight curly hair. Her wire-rimmed reading glasses. Her trimmed out apron, over a collared dress, with the back showing the apron ribbon tied into a bow. And her mixing bowl – she was a baker!
Being a baker as well, I have included my granddaughter in various baking projects. Wearing my apron and reading glasses of course! I want to build a connection with my little one so as she grows, she knows her “Nana” loves her. I am sure my Gum also loved me, but she was a complicated woman from an era that was more reserved. She grew up with horse drawn carriages, household staff, and owned a car in 1918 (I have a photo of it!). She attended Smith College, and traveled internationally (by boat) with her father, Ben Strong (1872-1928) for his work with the Federal Reserve. She received the right to vote just as she became an adult. She married at 20 and promptly had 3 sons a year apart. She lived through 2 world wars, with her brothers and her first husband entering both conflicts. She was divorced at a time when that was not the done thing, having to travel to Nevada in the 1940s to accomplish it. She raised three teen boys alone, without financial assistance from an ex-husband, with no work experience to speak of. While I want my grandchildren to know me as a loving Nana, I do not want Kat’s life story to fade away either. Complicated women seem to run in my family.
