Full Circle
This is a story about a personal heirloom - a Tiffany’s & Co Elsa Peretti 18k snake ring with a diamond tail. The ring was a gift from my husband, though honestly, neither of us can remember when exactly he gifted it to me. I think it was “early children”, in our first home in Libertyville. Hubby thinks it was earlier, in the apartment we rented for 2 years in Evanston. We had moved there from Cleveland right after our wedding. After selling the first house we owned for less than 6 months, we schlepped all our stuff and a 6-month-old golden puppy to a second-floor apartment while both unemployed. This was roughly 35 years ago, making the ring an early 1990s design.
I grew up with the understanding that gifts from Tiffany’s were “The” gift to receive. My father would gift my mother Tiffany jewelry, so that little blue box elicited a great deal of excitement. More importantly, my mother wore an antique Tiffany & Co. diamond engagement ring that was a family heirloom. The ring belonged to my grandmother’s mother, Margaret LeBoutillier (1874-1905) – her engagement diamond from my great grandfather Benjamin Strong (1872-1928) purchased in New York in the late 1890s. There is even a portrait of her wearing the ring – which is slightly odd, come to think of it, as she is surrounded by her parents and brothers but not her fiancé. Since she died while suffering postpartum depression, the ring was saved and my grandmother, Katharine Strong Humphrey (1904-1987) gave it to my father for his fiancé, Barbara Fallon, in 1954. Mom wore that ring until the 1980s, when she passed it on to my brother. At that point mom found two antique wedding bands – one ruby and one diamond – she wore until the day she died.
Here’s the tragedy, and I confess this one still makes me so dang verklempt. My mother gave the ring to my brother for his (first) fiancé, back in 1986 or so. That marriage went sideways fairly quickly, and I believe they divorced in 1991. After the young woman gave my brother back the Strong engagement ring, HE SOLD IT. Ok, I have vented. I simply cannot believe that ring left the family. Realistically it could be said to harbor negative karma – the first bride that wore it died tragically. The second bride – my mother – wore it and prospered for near 30+ years. However, bride #3 did not have a happy ending. I will get over it but not likely any time soon.
All of which circles me back to my Tiffany gift from hubby. I have loved the symbolism of snakes since college. I took classes on women’s history and the symbolism of mythology. The pre-Greco cultures thriving in early Europe. And the symbol that shows up most often in those studies was a snake. Modern culture immediately sees a snake as bad. The serpent in the garden of Eden is deeply embedded in many of our beliefs. And yet, originally, a snake was a symbol of rebirth, of the imagery of life continuing in a circle. It was a powerful metaphor for the female of the species. It is interesting that early Christian theology turned that symbol into a significant evil. And do not get me started on the early Christian attacks against female healers. In any case, I love the symbol of the snake but that is not to say I actually like living snakes.
For many years I wore my hubby’s beautiful gift on my right hand, as I had a very traditional “Tiffany setting” diamond engagement ring and simple gold band on my left ring finger (seriously traditional for someone so free thinking but this was 1986 so cut me some slack). Eventually I ended up with other wonderful rings, (see blog posts gums-gift-from-gumps and all-you-need-is-love), and the snake went into the jewelry box as I stopped wearing it.
The problem with being a rock climber, especially a middle-aged rock climber, is it takes a toll on your hands. While I can give killer back massages and open most any stuck container, I can hardly get my rings on and off. I have had rings enlarged numerous times over the years, and recently gave up on wearing my wedding rings. Just a week or so ago I realized the snake ring is a perfect solution! As it is “open” it actually has some give to it. And I can get it on over my sadly large knuckles. I now wear it as my wedding band on my left hand. Seeing it reminds me of history, both cultural and personal. I suspect you will not be surprised to learn I studied a variety of topics in college: English Literature, Political Science, Mythology, Astronomy, Art History, European History and Women’s Studies. I wrote a thesis about the butterfly representing the psyche in both the poetry of Spenser’s Fairy Queen (which I studied in the original Old English while at Kings College London) and John Keats (Ode to Psyche). Odd choice, and nearly didn’t pull it off, but I loved the dive into those worlds. Now I get to wear a snake ring – fat knuckles, extra wrinkles, and larger worries be damned – that brings my life full circle.